


don't mention it

by kinneyb



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-30 02:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19033183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb
Summary: Eliot and Julia have a talk, then, Eliot and Quentin have a much more important talk.





	don't mention it

**Author's Note:**

> who loves a good eliot/julia friendship? this bitch
> 
> ★ please follow me on twitter @ queermight & check out my pinned tweet! ★

Eliot sits at the foot of the hospital bed, resting a hand on Quentin's leg. He hasn't woken up yet, not since Alice and Penny came back from the Mirror Realm with him; unconscious but alive, _breathing_. Professor Lipson had stopped by early on and said - to everyone's relief - that he seemed to be fine, even healthy given the circumstances. Just tired in a way she hadn't seen in a long, long time.

So now it was just a waiting game.

Eliot, since then, has developed a habit of talking to Quentin, even if he knows he probably can't hear him. He tells him about his own recovery, which isn't easy even with magic, and how much everyone misses him. Alice visits daily and sits by the bed, reading to him for hours.

Julia rarely leaves, but occasionally she disappears for an hour or two for a nap. Eliot naps, too, but he doesn't leave Quentin's side. Margo tells him he should go get some proper rest, but he's stubborn and she knows it, so eventually she gives up and just shows up one night with an extra pillow she probably got from a nurse, and they both fall asleep together watching over Quentin.

Today Alice couldn't visit, apparently. She'd called him - how had Eliot almost forgotten cell phones were a thing? - and said she was busy; something to do with the Library. Eliot agreed to text her if he woke up.

So it was just Eliot. Margo was in Fillory with Josh and Fen now, which was a thing apparently. She promised to come back as soon as possible, but Eliot wasn't holding his breath. Fillory was her home now - her own personal coping mechanism - and he would never take that from her.

He gently rubs Quentin's leg. Even asleep, he is so unbelievably tense.

Eliot startles a bit when the door opens. Looking back over his shoulder, he relaxes at the sight of a slightly less tired Julia. She smiles softly and walks to the empty chair beside Quentin's bed, sitting down.

"He doing okay?" she asks even as she looks him over herself.

Eliot smiles, a bit sad. His hand stills on Quentin's leg. It feels like something too intimate to do with someone else in the room, even if it's just a friendly gesture. That's all it can be - until Quentin wakes up, at least. "He's okay."

For a long moment, they sit in comfortable silence. Quentin's slow breathing fills the room, though, and Eliot isn't sure he's ever heard a more beautiful sound in his life.

"Q tells me almost everything," Julia says eventually, taking one of Quentin's hands and squeezing. "But you... you were always an exception."

Eliot shrugs weakly, staring at their intertwined hands. "I can't imagine why," he says, but it doesn't hold any of his usual sass or charm. When he looks up, Julia is staring at him, an almost vulnerable softness in her eyes. He feels overwhelmed suddenly, but he doesn't look away.

"He even told me about Alice," she continues. "When they were happy, when they were fighting, he came and told me. Always asked me for advice, too." She smiles, a bit wistfully, and shrugs. "Weird, considering I don't have a great track record with dating myself. I mean, my first serious boyfriend doesn't even remember who I am."

Eliot remembers hearing about that - a long time ago. From Quentin, ironically. He licks his lips. "No one deserves that."

"I -" Julia laughs, stroking the back of Quentin's hand with her thumb. "Yeah, you're right. So... did you two?" she asks, almost a whisper. "I don't know."

Eliot thinks it's funny because 'I don't know' is really the only way he knows how to answer. He stares at Quentin's face, oddly peaceful. "I - I don't know about now," he admits eventually, hates that he doesn't. Because he won't be able to move on, if such is needed, until he knows for sure. Because he loves Quentin and, more than anything, he wants to be with him. Because he knows if Quentin wakes up and chooses Alice, he'll do nothing. He'll just sit back and watch, ignoring the pain in his chest. "But we... were at one point."

She blinks. Once, twice. Then, she's staring at Quentin, too, a soft, loving look on her face that's almost too much for Eliot to bear. "When?" she asks.

"It's... complicated," Eliot answers slowly.

Reaching up, she caresses Quentin's cheek and smiles. "I think we have time."

Eliot nods because, well, she's right. So he shifts, getting comfortable, and tells her everything about their lifetime together. When he stops, he glances back up at Quentin's face and swallows thickly. "When we got back, he asked me if I wanted to do it all. Again, but for real this time. Here with everyone, and I - I got scared. So I pushed him away, and fuck," Eliot blinks a few times, feels the familiar sting of tears and is so, so embarrassed. "When the monster was controlling me, I had to... uh, access my biggest regret essentially, that memory we all have that we push to the back of our mind."

He looks over at Julia, and is surprised by the expression on her face. Knowing, kind, understanding. It makes him feel less embarrassed, and so he takes a sharp breath and continues.

"For me, that was rejecting Quentin. Because I - I loved him, Julia, and I still do." Eliot shrugs, a sharp, jerky movement. He reaches up and finds Quentin's other hand, shivering at the skin contact he's been missing for so long. "I don't know if he feels the same way anymore. Probably not. I mean, he got back with Alice, but I don't care." He squeezes Quentin's hand, wishing he was awake now more than ever. "I'm going to tell him."

Julia reaches across the bed and touches Eliot's shoulder, a gentle friendly touch. "I think that's a good idea," she says, and he can tell it's genuine, which just makes him want to cry more. But he doesn't. Eliot is not a crier - at least not when other people are in the room, excluding Margo and Quentin; both of who were currently out of commission.

He squares his shoulders and nods curtly.

"He was willing to do anything to get you back," Julia says after pulling her hand back. "He - he probably would've fought Hades himself to get you back. He was desperate, Eliot. I don't know what was going through his mind, especially concerning Alice, but... I know he still loves you. And I can see why." She smiles, and Eliot can suddenly understand why Quentin had a crush on her. She's prettiest when she smiles, eyes shining. "And if it helps, I'm in your corner. It's not as if Alice isn't great, but..."

Eliot is actually surprised to hear that. "They do love each other," he says even if the words hurt, "but they have always been a bit... tragic, haven't they?"

Julia's smile widens, almost a grin. "Tragic," she repeats, eyes sparkling with amusement. "Yeah, that works. I just - I want him to be happy, more than anything, and I think... I think that involves you, Eliot."

He smiles, just a hint. "Thank you, Julia."

She shrugs, leaning back in her chair. "Don't mention it," she says, peering up at Quentin. "Just know if you hurt him, I will hurt you."

Eliot laughs, loud and unabashed. Maybe the first real laugh he's had in days.

/

Quentin wakes up a few days later. Eliot is the only one in the room at the time, Julia in the bathroom, but he's dozed off in one of the chairs, curled up awkwardly. He doesn't wake up until he hears something that sounds suspiciously like a laugh. A very, _very_ familiar laugh.

Then, he's upright, eyes wide. "Q?"

Quentin is sitting up, and he looks... good, Eliot thinks, amazing, really. He has bags under his eyes, sure, and a few wrinkles Eliot doesn’t remember (how? he thinks) but _good._ “You looked really stupid,” Quentin says in way of a reply, slowly grinning. "That chair is way too small for you."

“Oh, shut up,” Eliot replies breezily, moving off the chair to sit on the edge of Quentin’s bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. “You look amazing,” he says, genuine. 

Quentin flushes, but just grins wider. “I - I’m so happy to see you, El,” he says, surprisingly soft. “I mean - I saw you a lot - while you gone, I mean - but it wasn’t - “ he’s cut off by Eliot’s hand on his knee, warm and comforting. 

“I know,” he says, quiet. “But I’m here now.” Eliot swallows around the lump in his throat. “And so are you.”

Quentin nods, once, then the door is opening and Eliot laughs as Quentin is jumped by Julia. She hugs him so, so tight, burying her face in his hair. He stares at Eliot for a moment longer before finally turning his attention to Julia, rubbing her back comfortingly. “Hey, Jules, I’m here. Everything’s okay.”

“You fucker,” Julia pulls away, eyes wet. She kisses him on the cheek. “Do not ever scare me like that again, you hear me?”

Quentin nods. “I won’t,” he says, and for a few minutes no one says anything, but then, “I’m fucking starving.”

“Right!” Julia climbs off the bed, wiping at her eyes furiously. “What do you want?” she asks, tucking some hair behind her ear. “I don’t care what Professor Lipson says - I will get you anything you want.”

Quentin smiles, soft and genuine. “Pizza?”

“Okay, perfect,” Julia leans over and kisses the top of his head. “Be right back.” She walks to the door and stops, lingering. Eliot looks over, and they share eye contact that’s almost overwhelming, so many unspoken words. He nods, just barely, and she smiles warmly before leaving. 

Quentin looks back over at Eliot. “Where’s Alice?” he asks.

“Oh.” Eliot almost laughs, because of course. He looks away. “I can, uh - I can call her?” he offers, ignoring the pain in his chest.

Quentin smiles softly and nudges him with his foot. “Thanks, El. I - I do want to talk,” he continues after a moment. “But later, okay?”

He nods, feels like he’s moving on autopilot. Suddenly, all he wants to do is sleep. Ironic, really. “I’ll - I’ll be right back,” he stands up and fishes his phone out of his pocket, disappearing into the hall. Even if the pain is overwhelming, he keeps true to his word and calls Alice.

/

Alice shows up a while later and immediately sweeps into the room, and Eliot can hear Quentin asking her to close the door, then, nothing. Closing his eyes, he leans against the wall and slumps, almost slides to the floor before deciding no, hospital floors are fucking disgusting.

He’s still in that same spot when the door opens again and Alice steps out. 

Opening his eyes, he startles when he sees the look on Alice’s face - she’s crying, or well, she isn’t actively crying anymore, but she has been. Her eyes are swollen, her cheeks damp with tears. She looks sad, mostly, but there’s anger dancing behind her blue eyes, too.

“Are - are you okay?” he asks without even thinking. 

Alice wipes at her eyes furiously and takes a deep breath. “I’ll be fine,” she says tersely. “Just - he wants to see you, okay?”

“I...” Eliot pushes off from the wall. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She looks up at him and squares her shoulders. “I will be,” she repeats, and leaves no room for argument. So he doesn’t, just nods and watches as she walks off, feeling guilty and just a little bit happy, hopeful, which just makes him feel guiltier. 

After she’s gone, disappearing around a corner, Eliot enters the room and closes the door behind him with a gentle click. Quentin is still sitting up and he looks sad, too, but his eyes brighten a little when he looks up. “Hey,” he greets, soft. “I - I think I’m ready for that talk.”

Eliot smiles, a little nervous, and walks to one of the chairs. “Okay.”

“Um.” Quentin swallows audibly and glances down at his hands, nose scrunching up in a way that is just so adorably Quentin. Eliot loves him so, so much, and he will love him no matter what. As a friend or a lover. “So you saw Alice, right? I mean - you had to. I mean, there’s only one - “

Eliot’s heart squeezes. “I saw her,” he confirms gently, cutting off his rambling.

He nods, once, jerkily. “Right.” 

“Q,” Eliot says, almost a whisper. “We can wait.”

Quentin looks up at that. “I don’t want to wait,” he says, oddly confident. “Because I’ve been waiting and now - now you’re here, and I just - I need to know, Eliot.” He pauses, taking a deep breath, seems to be preparing himself for inevitable rejection. “Did you mean something when you said peaches and plums?”

Eliot thinks back to that day in the park, remembers the look on Quentin’s face when he realized he was talking to Eliot. So much love and adoration. Maybe not the kind he wanted anymore, but love and adoration all the same. “I - “ he closes his eyes. “Q, I should start from the beginning.”

When he opens his eyes, Quentin is staring at him, curious and a little hurt. Eliot smiles, soft, and reaches for his hand, squeezing. “Don’t,” he chides. “This isn’t a rejection. I - when I was stuck in my own head, which is a nightmare, by the way, would not recommend, I had to find my most repressed memory. That was the key to taking control long enough to let you know I was alive.”

Quentin, for once in his life, doesn’t say anything.

“Want to know my most repressed memory?” he asks.

Quentin nods slowly.

“It was turning you down,” Eliot continues breezily, and his heart explodes with love when he sees the look on Quentin’s face: so desperately hopeful. Because maybe he still wants this, too, maybe he isn’t too late. “Because I love you, Q, and I have since long before the mosaic if I’m being honest.”

Quentin frowns a little at that, looking guilty, but Eliot continues quickly.

“Which is okay,” he says truthfully. “Because you having your time with Alice made you who are you today, and I love that person more than - more than I’ve ever loved anyone, honestly.” 

Quentin smiles, just a hint. “Except Margo?” he says, a bit playful, and Eliot laughs, choked up. He squeezes Quentin’s hand, stroking his knuckles with his thumb. “Except Margo,” he repeats. 

“I - I broke up with Alice,” Quentin says, a quiet confession. Eliot nods, doesn’t interrupt because he knows Quentin isn’t done. “I mean, I think that’s obvious but I just - “ he nods, once, a bit shaky, “I need you know that.”

Eliot looks down at their intertwined hands. “I feel like shit for hurting her,” he admits. Quentin nods. “But I will not feel guilty for chasing my own happiness for once,” he continues, smiling warmly. “I - I love you, Quentin Coldwater, and I think we both could make each other very happy...” he looks up. “If you still want that.”

“I - “ Quentin nods without missing a beat, and then, he’s crying, shoulders shaking almost violently. “I - I really, really want that.”

Eliot climbs on the bed with him. “Shh,” he says, soft. “It’s okay.”

“I know,” Quentin replies, a little too fast. He presses up against Eliot’s side, and Eliot feels so overwhelmed with love it’s almost scary. “That’s what’s so scary, El,” he sniffles, once. “Happiness never lasts long with me, and I don’t want to screw this up. I - I don’t think I could handle that.”

Eliot smiles sadly, wrapping an arm around Quentin. “That has nothing to do with you,” he says, rubbing his shoulder. “That’s just life, Q.”

“Yeah,” Quentin laughs wetly. “Well, it’s not fair.”

Eliot nods. “Life isn’t fair,” he agrees. “But it’s also fucking beautiful, and I want to experience that beauty with you.” He pauses for just a second. “Again.”

“That’s - “ Quentin sobs “ - really fucking sappy.”

/

Eventually, Eliot unwraps his limbs from around Quentin. "I should let the others know you're awake," he says, gently brushing some hair from out of Quentin's face. "By the way, love the hair."

Quentin laughs sharply, eyes still a little wet. "Okay," he agrees. "Don't take too long."

"Ah," Eliot stops at the door, tsking. "Already so clingy."

Quentin just laughs again, louder, and Eliot leaves the room feeling so fucking happy he's almost worried he might never be able to do magic again. Then, he sees Julia. She's leaning against the wall next to the door with two large pizza boxes. He raises an eyebrow, but she just grins.

"I thought you guys deserved the privacy," she says.

Eliot nods, taking one of the boxes. "We - "

"I know," she says. "Or, well, I hoped so."

Eliot smiles warmly. "Thank you, Julia." He pauses. "For everything."

"Don't mention it," she says.


End file.
